An Empath is someone who has the ability sense the mental or emotional state of another person. What this means is that you are able to feel the energetic state of another person and without a solid knowing of who you are and how to protect yourself, you take that energetic state on as your own. It is also highly likely you are also very sensitive and can be quite emotional.
There are few reasons why you struggle with boundaries:
- First because boundaries were not something taught to you,
- Second because you may have been made to feel like your sensitivity was wrong, that you shouldn’t be so sensitive, and
- Third because it’s in your nature to want to help other people, you anticipate their needs so you can ease their own pain and suffering.
Your ability to sense the mental and emotional states of another is your gift; actually I call it our super-power. However your gift, without boundaries to protect yourself, WILL lead you into relationships that cause you great emotional and mental distress. Again because you have never learned how to put boundaries around your ability.
Given that in our society we grew up putting the needs of others before our own, boundaries was something that just wasn’t taught to us. It’s been this way for generations and generations and has been handed down to us.
The good news is that things are changing and we are starting to understand the need to take care of ourselves first and then take care of others from our place of over-flowing well-being; basically, fill up your own cup first and give from the over-flow.
Your Empathic Ability is Your Super Power
Here’s why!
As an Empath you already have the hard-wiring for love and compassion. If you look around the world so many people are in need of more love and compassion – it’s why you are here at this particular point in time. You are here, with millions of other empaths, encoded with a higher consciousness, so you can help raise the vibration of humanity as we usher in a new age. A new age where we have more love and compassion for each other and we live in unity and harmony with all of nature.
I want to acknowledge that you cannot turn off your super power any more than a pear tree can stop being a pear tree.
I sounds counter intuitive but in order for you to fully share your love and compassion AND to be in a healthy relationship, you first need to heal your own past hurts and trauma.
There is the saying, ‘you can’t get water from an empty well’ which means that sacrificing yourself to help another will only hurt you and doesn’t help heal the other person’s trauma – which is exactly what you are subconsciously trying to do. It only provides a temporary ‘feel-good’ for them and depletion for you.
Holding Space for Another's Pain vs Fixing Their Pain
By healing yourself you integrate the understanding that boundaries are vital to your well-being and essential to being able to shine your light that helps others heal themselves. There is a balance between holding space for someone’s pain, allowing them to find the healing within themselves, without immersing yourself in their pain and trying to fix it for them. This will always lead to unhealthy and potentially highly toxic relationships that empaths find themselves in.
If you would like to learn some tools to help you with boundaries, please watch the video below.
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