how your Awakening affects your relationship

When you start to awaken to who you really are and open yourself to  a higher level of consciousness, things in your life become very chaotic and nothing seems to fit anymore.


This awaking affects your work, the relationships you have at work, your personal relationships with friends and family, it affects how you see the world, how you see yourself and definitely your romantic relationship …. It basically affects everything!


This is because previously you were operating under old conditioning, old stories, old beliefs about who you are, and how you needed to show up in the world to get love, to be seen, to feel relevant, and to feel love and you adapted your behaviours so that you felt like you were getting that.


What happens during this awakening process is that whatever mechanism you were using to cope and manage with the old patterns and conditioning, usually through some type of numbing or suppression, is no longer enough for you.  Numbing can look like a lot of different things:

  • Excessive talking about the problem
    • (not a bad thing because it helps you process feelings and emotions but it can also keep you stuck if the person you’re speaking only has the skills to validate how shitty things are – no judgment because not everyone has learned the skills to help you see what you need to see to help you to move forward.

  • Retail therapy
  • Wine therapy
  • Any alcohol therapy
  • Drugs
  • Gambling

Basically anything that will help you suppress what is trying to bubble up to the surface.  


This goes on for a while until there is a shift;  something that causes you to see that you just can’t do this anymore.  It just doesn’t feel right.  So you start to look for ways or gravitate towards personal development, spiritual development type of information to help you understand what is going on and to help you gain some type of feeling that you are grounded to something as the world you knew is falling apart.

Your world is falling apart and that is a good thing although it sure doesn’t feel like it.

 

 

So what is really going on here??

Where once before you would:

  • acquiesce (to comply or agree even though you may not want to) to your partners wants, needs and desires because you didn’t want to rock the boat, ruffle feathers, or lose the relationship, or
  • be in an addiction with your person, that’s not what you want anymore, or
  • Where you were always over-extending yourself to keep the relationship stable and happy you now you starting to realize how your needs are not being met and that it doesn’t feel good.


What is happening through this process is that your energy is shifting and there is a lot of the blame game and finger pointing going on;  if only they would do this or didn’t do so much of that or was more like this..


What I want to point out is that you chose this relationship, there was an energy dynamic at play that brought you two together.  It’s not that your person is bad or wrong for doing what they’re doing or being who they’re being it is that YOUR energy is changing and what was working or what you were okay with tolerating and suppressing is no longer resonating with you.


That is not about your person.  It is about you and your energy changing and you wanting to come back into a natural rhythm and flow of who you truly are and who you are becoming.   


So this change in energy starts push all the truths about what you really want and need, and all your past unresolved pain to the surface. It causes strain and disharmony in the relationship.


I think it’s important to understand that although many troubled relationships now days are being labelled as being toxic, not every relationship is toxic!  They may be unbalanced and co-dependent but that doesn’t necessarily mean they are toxic – our patterns are being played out.   Some of these relationships may seem like there is nothing really wrong in the relationship yet you may feel like the relationship is not really what you want. Truly toxic relationships are when there is emotional, physical, and sexual abuse going on.  These relationships cause deep trauma.  If you’re in this type of relationship please seek help right away! 


What you may really want, when you start to awaken, is for your person to awaken with you but realize that they may not be ready and that is perfectly okay.  We all awaken at our own time. 


What you are being called to do is to do your inner work and heal so that you can bring yourself back into balance and to a place of peace within because you have work to do here, at this time.  


If you resonate with being very sensitive, emotional, empathic, very loving and caring and really wanting to help people just know that you were born this way to help humanity at this point in time.  This is a very special gift that you have and to bring this light into the world your healing needs to take place.


The process of letting everything come to the surface to be healed can take a toll on your relationship.  Not every relationship ends but the process of healing and letting go of everything you thought you had to be to feel seen, loved and feel worthy is still very emotional, scary, disruptive and chaotic.  


You have never been this version of yourself before.


If you would like to know more about me, my work and how I can help you, simple email me to:  info@irissirianni.com.

So much love to you.

Iris

 

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