Photo by Sharon McCutcheon on Unsplash
Self-love has become a buzz word that you may be feeling has become a bit cringe-worthy when you hear it. Especially if you struggle with how you feel about yourself and where you are at in your life.
We tend to not shower ourselves with positive self-talk and do nice things for ourselves when we are not feeling good about ourselves but this is exactly when we need to practice being, at least, nice to ourselves.
It can be quite challenging to implement and to be consistent in the practice for a few reasons.
- We think that self-love is selfish or others will see us as being selfish but it’s not like that at all. In this episode I’m going to share 3 ways in which you can create a self-love practice that does not make you feel or ‘appear’ selfish.
- We have lost that loving feeling for ourselves because we haven’t let go of our past.
- We have become so overwhelmed with life that we don’t even know where to start.
Let me help you get started from exactly where you are right now.
Practice self-love like you practice meditation.
I really encourage you to change your perspective of what having love for yourself really is.
The love you have for yourself is really the connection you have to your heart. It’s also the energy that emits FROM your heart, so when you have this connection, you feel a sense of value, and pride with who you are and what you have to give in loving exchange to others that ultimately makes the world a better place.
There are a lot of people doing really great work in the world, but they also sacrifice their well-being in doing so.
We cannot give more that what we have to offer.
I ran out of gas this week in my car. I didn’t get very far on an empty tank and it did not feel good either.
That is the feeling we have when we give more than we have. One part of self-love is knowing when you need to take time for yourself to relax, connect back to yourself, be in nature and be good to yourself.
That is not selfish in the least and the only people who think self-love is selfish are the ones who haven’t awakened to their own hearts connection.
With all of this in mind, let’s look at 3 ways in which you can create a self-love practice that does not make you feel or ‘appear’ selfish.
The only people who think self-love is selfish are the one's who haven't awakened to their own heart's connection.
Who are you giving your energy to
Let’s talk energy vampires.
We have all been in situations when we are having a conversation with someone and we can literally feel the life-force-energy leaving our body.
Until we have the awareness of this one-way energy exchange and how it makes us feel, we will continue to find ourselves in these situations.
There is a law of reciprocity. When we give we, we must also receive. There must be balance in all things.
You do not need to give your energy to people who are unable to give their energy back to you in a way that also fills you. It doesn’t need to be reciprocated in the exact same way that you give but it there must be balance.
Self-love questions
Are you able to receive from others?
Are you giving your energy because of something rooted in fear and guilt, such as losing the relationship, friendship, or job?
Many people don’t allow themselves to receive because of beliefs they created in their past.
Can you look at any people in your life that leave you feeling depleted after spending time with them? and can you ask yourself what your fear is when in comes to creating space between you and them?
There are a lot of hidden truths about why we give our time and energy to people who give nothing in return.
Lets move on to the second way to create a self-love practice.
How are you using your time
Believe it or not, time is our most valuable resource. When it’s our time, that’s all the time we had so the question becomes, did we experience everything we wanted to experience.
We waste a lot of time doing things we don’t want to be doing, spending time with people who don’t support us and drain our energy or distracting ourselves from ourselves so we don’t have to think or feel.
I think we’ve all said this to ourselves at one time, at least I know I have, ‘Well that was a complete waste of time’ or ‘there’s and hour or more, that I’ll never get back!’
Invest time into yourself by taking care of your health, read books (or listen to audio) that help you grow, learn something new and create so you feel proud of yourself.
Avoid investing your time in gossip, hanging around people and doing things that add nothing of value to your life and doing things that drain you and leave you feeling depressed.
Your time is valuable and so are you!
Tap into your creativity
A really good self-love practice for anyone, but especially if you’re feeling like crap in your life, is to tap into something creative.
We just talked about investing in ourselves. When we create it makes us feel proud of what we have created and when we create it’s not to keep it for ourselves, it’s meant to be shared with others.
We create art to share with those that resonate because it makes them feel something. Music is the same way. I’ve heard so may people say that music saved their life.
Whether you write poetry, books, or a blog, or produce music for others, sing, make pottery, or create art in your own unique way, dance, play an instrument, build things, whatever it is, it comes from your heart to touch the hearts of others.
There is nothing selfish or self-sacrificing in creative expression.
So do more of what makes you feel proud and don’t be afraid to share it with the world because of what others will think.
Remember those energy vampires we talked about earlier? Well, some show up as the ones that are unable to appreciate someone else’s creations because the only people who think self-love is selfish are the ones who haven’t awakened to their own hearts connection.
I already said that but it’s worth mentioning again.
Steer clear and share your creations with those who can appreciate them.
I hope you found these 3 options for creating a self-love practice helpful because in as much as self-love is for you it also connects you to the hearts of others.
How can that be selfish?
with Love,
Iris