It's Been a Long Journey, Soul Sister!
A journey of wondering why it seems to be your fate to have one failed relationship after another and dealing with:
- emotional trauma
- feelings of abandonment
- feeling anxious and never feeling secure in relationships
- feeling rejected
- losing yourself in relationships because you:
*over-give of everything you have,
*struggle with boundaries,
*are a people pleaser,
*are unable to say no, feel guilty when you do and say yes in the end.
But ultimately, you keep searching for ‘the one’, hoping the next one will be different yet although the faces change the outcome is the same.
I love you for your commitment to searching for the one thing our soul is here to do:
To Love and Be Loved!
Where you got lost
You may not realize this but everything you learn about what love and connection is ‘supposed’ to look like is taught to you from a very open and tender young age. Although a lot was learned from within the family unit we also learned from kids in school, our extended families and of course the relationships and experiences you had along the way. For example:
What happened when you needed something or you needed mom or dad’s attention?
What happened when you hurt yourself?
Did your parents divorce or did one parent simply leave?
How did mom and dad interact with each other? How did they interact with you and your siblings?
How were you treated at home, in school, by other family/church members?
Were you abused, or neglected?
What were you told repeatedly?
We take it all in. Every loving word. Every harsh word. Every action. Every inaction. Every encounter, experience, observation and even outcome. Like a sponge, we soak it all up and we gave it all meaning! A meaning that surely will satisfy who we need to be and what we need to do to be loved.
And that, my soul sister, is the foundation for learning what you need to learn so you can understand that every person in your life was put on your path to help you learn to love and appreciate yourself and your divine gifts so you can have that deep soulful relationship that is rightfully yours.
Taking a break from looking for love in all the wrong places
This is what I have learned along the way because, like you, I have not had an easy go when it came to relationships.
I am Iris Sirianni and like you, I had moments in my life where I was a serial dater, chose men that I thought I could fix, wouldn’t commit, were in it just for the sex, and were just plain not right for me.
I spent the greater part of my life looking for love outside myself, moving from one relationship to another, trying to prove that I was someone worth seeing – not just in a physical way – but being seen as someone worthy of being loved.
In my childhood I interpreted my experiences, observations and outcomes to mean that I couldn’t be myself. I needed to play a role to get love and attention. I also needed to achieve something GREAT in order for me to prove that I wasn’t just an over-sensitive, pretty chubby blonde that wasn’t very smart but not completely stupid either, and who saw the world through rose-coloured glasses.
I did start out loving who I was. We ALL start out loving ourselves and knowing we are enough.
I loved how I saw the good in people and wanted to help everyone. This came naturally to me until I was told I was too trusting and naive. I didn’t see my chubbiness as something that needed to change for someone to love and accept me until was told as a teenager that I was cute and all but I needed to lose 20 pounds. Apparently I was not okay.
I also didn’t see my body as something that was to be violated until it was. I didn’t see the way that I learned as being not good enough until I was told I wasn’t that smart but I wasn’t that dumb either….. just mediocre.
I was told to ‘get real’, stop seeing life as all happy and rosy, stop being so over-sensitive and emotional and so one.
When one hears and experiences something enough, voila, one starts to believe one is not enough and starts to adapt in a way to get love.
Enter the unhealthy and disappointing relationships!
I learned that we will attract people who reflect back to us our pain of feeling unworthy, insecure, unlovable, unseen, irrelevant, not good enough, not smart enough, etc. and this is why the faces may change but the patterns repeat until we do some inner-work.
Enter the healthy, deeply connected, satisfying and balanced relationship!
I also learned that when we get over the fear of taking a time out from looking for love in all the wrong places we can turn our attention inward and do a little work to discover we are so much more than the experiences we’ve had, and we’re worthy and deserving of so much more than what we have settled for in the past.
From this new place you will start to attract people to you that are in alignment with how you feel about yourself.
Do we fit?
We’re all soul-sisters and I have an immense heart to help you all on your healing journey….
I am for you if you:
- are ready to attract a loving, respectful, harmonious, balanced romantic relationship,
- are ready to end the repeating cycles and patterns,
- are ready to discover what all your experiences have been trying to teach you,
- want to reconnect with who you are,
- want to learn to love, accept and respect yourself,
- want to learn how to trust yourself and have good boundaries,
- want to see your value and what you have to offer,
- are open-minded to spiritual concepts and healing,
- are highly sensitive and see yourself as an empath,
- have a love for animals,
- love leisurely Sunday mornings, coffee in bed, and curling up with a good book,
- love being in nature and long drives through the country.
Change Happens when you
Realize that you Want
and Are Open to Change
The hardest part of change is realizing that you want it but not knowing how make the change you seek. Let us help guide you in your journey to find the path you seek. Not all change is easy but with change comes new doors that open to your life journey!