What would you do? A romance story.
I know you! You are a good person. You are kind, caring, generous, and have a lot of compassion. Yet, you find yourself in relationships where you are unhappy, unappreciated, taken advantage of and what you give is not always reciprocated
My belief is that when you love, appreciate, value, and respect who you are, you are less likely to tolerate bad behaviour. You speak up when you have something to say or feel disrespected. You fearlessly walk away from potential new relationships and let relationships that no longer work, dissolve.
Learning to love, appreciate, and value who you are is NOT being a snob and it is NOT selfish. It is understanding that YOU and how you feel, really matters!
A romance story. What would you do?
She met a man online. The first date was a coffee and walk date. He told her he wasn’t looking for anything serious and just wanted something casual.
What she really wanted, was a healthy, committed relationship yet her experience so far was cycling through seasonal flings and non-committal men who only contacted her when they wanted female companionship.
The next few dates were hot and heavy and they seemed to hit it off. She likes him. They have a lot in common and they laugh.
Then there was radio silence.
She would text him and his responses were short.
She invited him to get together but he had excuses why he wasn’t available.
She was hurt and confused.
Then he contacted her and it was on again. Until it wasn’t.
Repeat cycle. Again, she was hurt, confused, and now angry.
Until he called again. She was still hurt, confused, and angry but was happy to see him again.
The Obvious Sign
They don’t want the same thing!
She’s looking to build a castle with someone. He’s looking for a good time.
When you are ready and want a healthy, committed relationship and they tell you they only want something casual or they aren’t ready for a relationship, this is not when you tell yourself, ‘Cool! Let’s see where this goes because there’s sexual chemistry and they have potential.’
In this scenario, she showed him that she was okay being on-call for him. There was no expectation for him to open his heart for her because he told her he only wants something casual.
As she continued to be available to him, complaining, yet tolerating his randomness and uncertainty about when they would get together next, she felt more and more unloveable, not good enough, like she was just a convenient option, and unimportant in his life.
He is not interested in building a castle with her now, or maybe ever.
What to do
Be honest with yourself. Are they truly what you want right now? You never want to date someone for their potential.
Trust yourself. Walking away leaves the door open for what you do want to come in.
Love and peace,
Iris
Can I trust you with my heart
In a vulnerable state, tears can spring to your eyes as you tap into the deeper meaning of what that means for you and the fear that lives behind those words.
For people who have experienced a lot of heartbreak and pain they have a hard time trusting other people, being vulnerable, opening up and letting others in.
What to do with your unworthiness triggers
We suppress and ignore unhealed pain but the right people will always show up to show you what you need to look at. They say or do something that triggers a reaction and almost all the time it triggers how you feel about yourself, specifically around your feelings of worthiness and whether you are good enough.
3 ways you can create a self-love practice that does not make you feel or ‘appear’ selfish
We think that self-love is selfish or others will see us as being selfish but it’s not like that at all. In this episode I’m going to share 3 ways in which you can create a self-love practice that does not make you feel or ‘appear’ selfish.